Always on My Mind
by PhantomSilverCrystal
Summary: Song Fic: Phantom Planet, "Always on My Mind". They always knew the day would come when they would want to be individuals, but were they ready for it? Was he ready for her? Was his brother ready to let go of her? This is kind of a HikaruxHaruhi that takes place in the later half of the manga. I like reviews... :D
1. For All I Care

_**Everybody in this place can up and move away, for all I care this town's already dead and empty.**_

* * *

It's just another day.

These words echoed through Hitachiin Hikaru's mind from the back seat of the town car that drove he and his brother to school. Just another day, he reassured himself. Despite his reminders, Hikaru couldn't help but wonder how different today would actually be.

The car was surprisingly quiet this morning, and he took it to be an omen; a poor one at that. Usually, the twins used this time to scheme up pranks or joke around, but today, there was an eerie silence. This moment of stilling peace crystallized Hikaru's deepest fear.

Today was The Day.

Today was the day that everything would change, and he knew it. Self-consciously, he reached up to comb his fingers from his newly dyed hair. This had been his idea: his choice. Kaoru hadn't even been there when he dyed it. His now dark hair contrasted against his brother's light ginger, paling his own skin, and to an extent his personality. But this had been his idea.

So, then why was he so afraid?

"Hikaru?" Kaoru's soft voice shattered the silence into sharp shards of discomfort. Hikaru didn't look at him. He couldn't bring himself to blink, even. Instead, he focused on a speck of dust on the floor. "You know," Kaoru continued, "It'll be okay. The people that matter won't really care."

"Mm." He grunted.

"I'll bet that Haruhi won't even notice at all." He went on, clearly uncomfortable with the silence. "Besides, this was going to happen someday, anyway, right?"

"Yeah." Hikaru answered, unenthused. The dust speck lost all interest to him and he turned to the window instead. The car was pulling up to the Ouran Academy. He felt his stomach fall and his pulse race. "People are idiots." He said this more to himself than Kaoru, who only stared at him in response. "This was a bad idea."

"So, what do you want to do?" Kaoru asked slowly. "Skip?"

"Nah, we're already here, so we— I mean, I –might as well go."

It was time. The fact was that the twins had grown apart. The day they joined the Host Club, Hikaru knew. He knew that someday it would happen. The day would come when he could no longer be half of a whole; the day he would become his own person. That day was inevitable, and in unspoken agreement, the twins never spoke of it. Maybe, as his own person, Hikaru would be able to find happiness— happiness independent of his brother. He had never feared that day: it was some distant future that had nothing to do with his present. But now, it was real, and he blamed it on the hair dye.

_There's no going back, now_, he thought, touching his hair one last time before stepping out of the car behind Kaoru.

"Kaoru, I think today's The Day."

"Mm." He agreed. "Today's the day it becomes a pumpkin."

"What?" Hikaru turned to him, causing a blush to creep across Kaoru's face. He threw his hands up in defense.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just… Let's go to class."

The trek to Class 2-A was longer than usual and tainted with open stares and hushed gossip. Hikaru tried to ignore it, but the rage boiled under his collar and his head spun in dizzy circular thoughts.

"Do you think they fought again?"

"Is Hikaru-kun sick or something? He's sure been acting strange lately…"

"What happened to the Hitachiin brothers?"

"I'll bet what ever it was, Kaoru-kun isn't at fault."

The words no longer were attached to faces. Instead, they spun angrily, bouncing off the high ceilings. They echoed and doubled with ferocity, causing Hikaru to stagger and stop in the middle of the hall.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru caught his arm. "What is it?"

"Tell me," he said weakly, "Am I imagining this torture?" He straightened up, regaining balance.

"No." Kaoru said bitterly, as he began to pace forward once more. "Just hang in there."

"I always knew people were idiots." Hikaru wanted so much to leave right then. No. What he wanted was for every other person with a voice to leave: to up and move away, never to return. He just wanted them to pack up their words and go away, and then he'd feel better.

"Hey, Hikaru," a sweet, low voice called from behind him. "Hi, Kaoru."

"Haruhi!" Hikaru exclaimed, throwing a protective hand to his head. "What… What's up?"

"Um, not much I guess." She said, looking around to staring eyes. "What's everyone looking at?"

Hikaru shot Kaoru a panicked look before answering, "Me… I guess."

"Why? Because you dyed your hair?" Haruhi asked innocently. "That's dumb. You're the same person on the inside, aren't you?"

"Well, about that…" Kaoru spoke for his brother. "We've decided—"

"—To be Hikaru and Kaoru instead of The Hitachiin Twins." Hikaru finished.

"I see," Haruhi said after a brief pause. "But you still finish each others sentences? I wonder… How long ago did you decide this?"

"Recently." Hikaru blushed at her observation. "After your date."

"Date?" Her head cocked to the side in that way that was so unbelievably feminine that Hikaru couldn't help but want to reach out and touch her face; to stroke the soft curve of her face, but her voice snapped him out of his momentary musings. "With Kaoru? That wasn't really a date…"

"Still." Hikaru glanced at Kaoru who looked uncomfortable, possibly hurt. He decided that his brother must really like her. It pained Hikaru to see Kaoru heartbroken, but there was a slight pang of happiness, too, which was followed closely by guilt. He was astounded at his own ability to feel so many things at one time, but above everything else, he felt confused.

"Well, good luck then. I'm sure it will be hard at first."

"What do you mean?" The twins asked in unison before realizing they had, which elicited a small giggle from Haruhi.

"That's what I mean!" She smiled. "You know, Hikaru, changing your hair color doesn't make you a new person. You'll still be the same to me."

"What if I don't want to be the same?" Hikaru felt his voice rise a decibel. "This is serious! I'm making an effort to be my own person and you don't even care! This is a big deal to me, Haruhi!"

Haruhi and Kaoru looked at him in absolute awe. For the first time since the twins entered the school, the hall fell completely silent.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Hikaru." Haruhi conceded.

"We're going to be late," Kaoru added.

"I didn't mean to shout," Hikaru said quietly, trying not to meet anyone's eyes, least of all the various on lookers'.

"It's really okay," Haruhi smiled reassuringly. "By the way," she purposefully met his eyes. "I think your hair looks nice brown. It suits you."

Her words hit his chest like a ton of bricks. Any doubt that he had vanished: He was over his head and she was always his mind.

**A.N.: Hi, there, dear readers. I've been neglecting my fanfiction account incredulously, and for that I deeply apologize. I was challenged to write this fic, because apparently, there is a HikaruxHaruhi fan that was frustrated with my incessant Kyoya rants (I kid, Molly!)… Anyway, please enjoy :) **


	2. Victim of Obsession

_**"I'm told that I'm a victim of obsession, that's what my friends say. Oh, I'm a fool for having ever let her tempt me."**_

* * *

Adrenaline pumped through Hikaru's entire body as he willed himself to just go a little faster. He was running, faster than he ever had before, but it just wasn't good enough. His legs numbed under the pressure of his speed. Where he was and where he was going: he wasn't concerned with that. All that Hikaru really knew was that if he stopped for a second, everything would catch up to him.

The cold, night air tingled against his bare arms, and his naked feet pounded against the cold asphalt of the street. All he could hear was the pounding of his own heart, until suddenly, there was a set of tires screeching out in the night. Headlights spun past him as a car whizzed by, turning him to face a church that seemingly came from thin air.

Haruhi.

He knew she was there, and he had to go there, too.

No sooner did Hikaru step towards the church then a bolt of lighting hit the ground directly in front of him. He stumbled two steps back, hearing the resounding smack of thunder filling the world around him. A look of determination crossed his face. If Haruhi really was in that church, nothing would stop him from getting to her.

He ran through the doors, not even bothering to slow down as he burst into an abyss of white light and rose petals. With a blink or two, Hikaru tried to assess the situation and his surroundings, but everywhere he looked, it was white.

"Haruhi!" Hikaru shouted, but he only heard his own echo.

"How do you know my name?" Hikaru turned to see Haruhi's familiar frame, draped in a white silk nightgown. Her nose wrinkled in confusion at the sight of him. "Who are you?"

"Haruhi!" He was so excited to see her that he ignored her strange behavior and wrapped her in a tight embrace. "I'm so glad you're okay," he whispered into her short hair. She surprised him by struggling against his strong arms, and finally managing to pry herself away.

"Seriously," she snapped. "Who the hell are you?" Fury painted her fragile face.

"You're kidding me right?" He placed his hands on her shoulders, the way he'd seen Tamaki do a thousand times when she was being unreasonable. "It's me, Hikaru. I'm one of your best friends…"

"What are you talking about?"

"Hey, Haruhi, is this guy bothering you?" Kaoru's clear voice cut through the blinding whiteness. He too was clad in white from head to toe. He came over and rested a protective hand across Haruhi's shoulder.

"A little bit," She admitted. "I have no idea who he is."

"Oi! Who are you, anyway?"

"Mori? Who is that person?" Honey asked sweetly from Hikaru's left. Mori's indifferent grunt followed.

"If you can't properly identify yourself, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Kyoya's cold, calculating tone sounded from his right. All of these familiar people— these usually friendly voices— slowly circled Hikaru until he was nearly blinded by the whiteness. He squeezed his eyelids shut, refusing to accept this apparent reality.

When he opened them again, he was sure he'd gone blind for real. Darkness covered him completely. To test himself, he raised one hand to eye level, but in the pitch blackness, could not recognize it.

"His world is still so small," A booming voice sighed. "What a pity, really."

"Tono? Is that you?" Hikaru asked the voice.

"Tell me, who are you, Hikaru?"

"I am… Hitachiin Hikaru!"

"What does that mean?" Tamaki's voice responded calmly. "Who are you?"

He felt hot, angry tears stream down his reddened face.

"I don't… I don't know!"

XxX

In Class 2-A, Hitachiin Hikaru woke with a start, feeling a thick sheen of cold sweat on the back of his neck. He looked around to see that aside from one student reading intently in the corner, the room was completely empty. He groaned.

"Hikaru," Haruhi looked up at the sound. "Are you okay?"

"I'm… I'm fine," He blushed. "It was just a bad dream, I think."

"That's good." She smiled sweetly. "You were thrashing in your sleep, and sensei wanted me to tell you that you have detention next Monday."

"What for?" He asked groggily.

"For disrupting class, obviously." She answered. "Kaoru already went up to the club, so whenever you're ready, we can go, too."

"Do we have to go today?"

"To the club? I think so. Kyoya's still in France, so the club is short today, anyway."

"Well, let's at least take our sweet time getting there," Hikaru smiled as he rose to his feet.

"Okay," Haruhi chuckled, as they set off down the plush hallway.

"Say, Haruhi," Hikaru began after realizing they had fallen in step together. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, I guess."

"Without Kaoru, who do you think I will be?" He looked down at his feet as they padded against the carpet.

"Look, Hikaru," She said slowly, "I know that this individualization thing means a lot to you, but I don't really think it will work the way you think it will."

"What does that mean?" He asked, more curious than mad.

"You think being your own person means being nothing like Kaoru, but it doesn't. You two were raised together. You have the same blood. It's not like saying you're individuals will change any of that. People don't change over night."

"Haruhi." He grabbed her wrist and stopped walking. "Who am I now?"

She looked back at him, her brown eyes quivering under his intense gaze. "What do you mean?"

"Am I Hikaru, or am I just Kaoru's twin?"

"Hikaru." She said decidedly. He dropped her wrist and combed his fingers back through his hair. "No," She pulled his hand away from his head. "That's not why. It's not because your hair is different. You stopped being 'just Kaoru's twin' a long time ago."

"Huh?"

"It's like I said, people don't change over night." She showed no expression. "Come on, they're probably wondering where we are."

"Okay."

In that moment, Hikaru knew that he couldn't keep it to himself anymore. He had to tell someone— he had to tell her. He was in love.


End file.
